Kinky Astronomy

14 Aug

Back in 2002, a young 25 year old Astrophysics major interned for NASA’s Johnson Space Center in Houston, Texas by the name of Thad Roberts. Like many of my ex-boyfriends and men that I use to pimp, he promised his girlfriend the moon. With only a slight difference…he actually gave his girlfriend the moon. How you say? By stealing 17 pounds of moon rocks from the space agency that had been brought back to Earth by the Apollo astronauts. After his lover boy heist, Roberts and his girlfriend scattered the rocks across his bed and got it on.Yes, I know, this guy sound like the Hulk for carrying out 17 pounds of moon rocks out of NASA. But he had three accomplices: his girlfriend Tiffany Brooke Fowler Shae Lynn Saur and Gordon Sean McWhorter.

Unfortunately the lover boy and company got caught because the idiot was trying to sell the rocks on the internet. His punishment…100 months in prison and just like any raw talented rapper that are behind bars. Roberts contemplate the greatest mysteries of the universe and conceived a theory for the quantum space theory (QST) that could unify Einstein’s general relativity with quantum mechanics. Just like any raw talented rapper that did some time, instead of releasing a album, Roberts theory for QST is now in a book by Ben Mezrich called “Sex On The Moon”.

So many things were running through my mind when I read about this Romeoesque nerdy article. Here we go:

  1. This guy must be the greatest, best, and bad ass boyfriend ever!
  2. Were the rocks underneath his bed or under the covers? Lets face it having sex on the rocks without any coverage will hurt like hell
  3. Why didn’t he just return the rocks back to the NASA during closing time? He could have gotten away with it, and how cool of a story would be that the displayed moon rocks have cum stains on it?
  4. I wonder if he wrote his theory on his cell wall.
  5. This the most nerdy situation ever! Though the guy made the situation bad ass at the same time. I am in mixed emotions here.
  6. Since he had 3 accomplices, did they rotate the rocks among each other after one was done?
  7. Is Tiffany Brooke  Fowler now Mrs. Tiffany Brooke Roberts? If not, that would suck for any guy she ended dating after him because Thad Roberts set the bar high. I mean come one, the guy gave her the moon…literally.

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